More Questions

Monday was another snow day. Ethan had a series of play dates with other kids his age, and with the comparison to the other kids, I ended up feeling very grateful and proud of who Ethan is as a person. Ethan is incredibly perceptive of other people, and does listen to us when it’s important (at least most of the time!)

Ethan has had adoption on his mind recently. The other night we were watching the movie “Madagasgar II”. I noticed that Ethan started wiggling and squirming when Alex the Lion ends up in Africa and meets his biological parents. Then, the next night, 10 minutes before we had to go out, he started wanting to play all the roles of baby in the tummy, through five year old. He does a very good job of playing the different ages, including being a new-born baby, a one year old, and a two year old.

The next morning Ethan woke up with the topic of adoption more explicitly on his mind. One of the first comments I got from him was, “You can’t be my mother since your skin is a different color.” I thought quickly and started listing a bunch of non-adopted kids who had different skin colors from their moms.

The next question came fast and furious: “Why did the woman whose tummy I was in take me to the balalar (orphanage)?” I said that there were a lot of reasons she might have – “She couldn’t take care of you, she was young, she was sick, she didn’t have money”. Then he said, “I think she loved me”. “Yes!” I agreed, very relieved that he felt loved by her. What more could I ask for? “Yes, I’m sure she loved you so much she wanted you to be taken care of.”

Then, no break from the little guy, with: “So I have more than one mother!” Thinking fast again, I pointed out to him all the non-adopted kids and grownups he knows who have more than one mom, including his sisters and brother, and his friend who has two moms living with her.

As quickly as it started, it was over, and we were on to playing with Star Wars Legos.