Tank You

There are several things that people comment a lot about Ethan:
--That he's very polite
--That he seems happy a lot (they don't see the crying and pouting of course)
--That he'll be a heart-breaker when he's older
I especially like the polite part. The teachers at school tell me that he says "tank you" more often than most of the other kids. If he accidently hurts me, he'll say "sorry!" very quickly. Then he'll do little extras, like opening the door for people (!), picking up trash when it falls, or offering pieces of his food to other people, even his favorites (like chocolate). Sometimes if I've gotten him a present, or someone else has given him something, he'll just spontaneously say sometime later, "Tank you mama!" or "Tank you, XX" even if the person isn't there. Of course he can be a normal 4 year old brat too, but I think it's so sweet when he does these things.

He's also starting to tell us what he likes and doesn't like. "Ethan like mama, papa house" he said at dinner the other night (meaning he likes our house). Or, "Ethan no like mama" when he's mad. The other night I dressed up to go to dinner, and Ethan looked me up and down and then said "mama look nice" to me (mama was touched). There's a picture up on the fridge where I'm wearing a dress and Ethan made a point of tell me "Mama cute" and smiling.

We went to the movies for the first time a few days ago ("Happy Feet"). We explained to Ethan that it was like a DVD, but much bigger, and that it featured penguins. Ethan patiently sat through the first half of the movie very politely (he understood when we explained that he had to be quiet), and ate his way through an entire large size popcorn (!), plus some candy, then decided it was time to go home ("car" he insisted). We asked him if he wants to go again, and he does, but we figure maybe something that has more than just a lot of penguins (there really were a lot of penguins in this movie, and they all looked pretty much the same, plus there were all sorts of musical and cultural references that he wouldn't understand at this point). On the other hand, Ethan can sit through an entire movie like Lion King 2 (insipid movie) twice in a row at home. (here's a photo of Ethan watching a DVD on his player at home)

Time flies

It's been two months since Ethan and I arrived in the US. Amazing how much has happened since then. It feels like forever (in a good way). It's hard to imagine life without him (except of course when it's 6:00am and I'm exhausted and he's totally wired and awake).

The other day Ethan decided it should be his birthday, and started crying when I told him it wasn't. "Happy Birthday Ethan!" he insisted. I tried to explain it would be around 80 days before his birthday by saying "tomorrow" eighty times. At the end of this he just shook his head and said again "Happy Birthday Ethan!!" He kept doing this throughout the day, and I was trying to figure out what aspect of the "birthday" business he was so upset about not having. "Ethan wants presents?" I asked. That wasn't it. "Cake?" No, he'll eat sweets, but they're not something he cries over. "Crown?" (they wear a crown at school on birthdays.) Finally, later that evening Mark had the idea of singing "Happy Ethan to Ethan" to the birthday melody, changing the words so as not to confuse the issue. Ethan erupted into a giant grin. "More, more!" he said at the end. That was it. He just wanted the birthday song sung to him. Children can be so complicated and so simple at the same time.

The bounce house has been wonderful. It means I don't have to go driving around to find Ethan indoor places to play. It's also fun for playdates. This week Ethan had his first snow day from school when we got a huge storm on Valentines day. He played all afternoon with two neighbor girls, and I hung out with their mom. Later we all went sledding nearby -- the streets had so much snow in them that we could pull the sleds and kids through them.

Bouncy, bouncy

Ethan's new "bounce house" arrived in the mail this week. It's wonderful. It's an air-filled 'trampoline' like the ones they have at fairs that is technically supposed to be used outside, but seems to work beautifully inside. Here's a picture showing Ethan with the desired effect it has on him (i.e. exhausted). Anyway, we're all very excited, as it gives us an outlet when it's really miserable or hard to do something outside. Plus it's rated to 250 pounds, so mama gets some exercise as well.

We also finally had enough snow here over the weekend to get a little sledding in. Ethan is really crazy about anything that involves speed: slides, jumping, sledding, biking, etc. Just like his papa. Ethan seems to be pretty fearless about it all, which is fine when things are safe, but a little disconcerting when he goes off the wrong hill towards a building at the bottom (woops!). Luckily Ethan wasn't hurt, but he got an earful from mama and papa, which he recounts to us later something like this: "Mama, papa: 'no Ethan! no Ethan!' Mama run. Ethan slide down. No ouchie")

We took Ethan into the International Adoption Clinic last week just to make sure everything was going ok, and they thought he was doing really well. The doctor jokingly kept saying that she was scared at how fast he was learning English. "Wow" she wrote on his sheet. At the end she said something like, "We don't need to see him again, but it would be nice if you had him come back and say hello when he gets into MIT". That was nice!

Ethan's language continues to progress. Now he has some verbs, sometimes used to advantage in 4-year old humor, such as: "Ethan eat poo-poo?". There are still some funny mix-ups, like when we were driving to school the other day and he said "bagel truck". He had just eaten bagels at school, and the truck had something round on the side, so I figured that was the source of the mixup. Turns out it was my mistake: he was trying to say "back-hoe truck", not bagel truck. Or, the other day we were driving after a rain and he said "pot holes". Since this wasn't anything we had taught him, I figured he learned it at school. "No!" he insisted, "Potholes" holding up his bag of pretzles. Oh, now I get it. He's also learning comparatives like bigger and smaller. Here's another taste of Ethan-style humor: he'll say, "Ethan bigger than papa?". We'll say "noooo". He'll say, "Ethan bigger than mama?". We'll say "nooooo", and on it goes.

Sometimes Ethan will ask the names of things that are pretty obscure. At first I hesitated to fill up his head with non-essentials, but then I just gave up realizing that if he's interested, I might as well tell him. So, Ethan knows the word "spoiler" on the back of race cars (and he knows that "Tom car yes spoiler, papa car no spoiler) {by the way, mama didn't know the word spoiler until a few years ago}. Ethan knows the difference between Stagasaurus (which has 'plates' on its back and 'spikes' on its tail) and Triceratops (which has 'three horns'). He proudly will tell you that one of his teachers drives a "black Jeep" (and he can now recognize Jeeps when he sees them), and that his other teacher drives a "silver Hundai", and that papa just bought a "red Audi" (although at first he'd say "Audi, Audi" thinking it was the same as "howdy, howdy" said by Woody in Toy Story). Then he blows me away when he recognizes other Subarus that aren't even the same model as mama's. He has trouble saying the word "stethascope" at least, but counterbalances that with knowing that the lion in his DVD is Alex, while his brother's name is Alec, with better disctinction than most people can manage. Oh, and when he says goodby, Ethan will often say, "See you later aligator", or maybe it might be, "See you tomorrow aligator", or even "See you later crocodile." Mark is convinced Ethan is going to be a comedian some day.

Ethan is also bonding to us more and more with time. He was always basically pleasant with us and affectionate, but he's showing signs of getting more attached to us specifically (the kids in orphanages are often taught, or learn, to treat any adult they can find like a parent, in hopes the person might actually take them up on it. When he was first home, he would often point to, or run up to other women and say, "mama?", or declare one of his teachers "mama!". It hurt a little, but I had to keep in mind where he was coming from, and trust that he'd get more clear. Now he mostly gets the concept, and only sometimes, mostly to tease, will call someone else mama. Or, when he doesn't want to go home from preschool, he pulls out another kid pointing them in my direction, and says, "your mama!" to them, but he's also smiling when he does it.)

Anyway, now he misses us when we leave the room, and he frequently asks where one of us is when we're not there. "Papa work?" he'll say repeatedly in the afternoon (meaning, 'is papa at work?'). I'm also feeling more attached to him with time. All his cute little hand motions (he waves his hand like royalty when he wants something) and ways he says things ( 'The Ethan?' meaning is this mine? or "Ethan lika-dem" meaning he likes something) are replayed in my head when he's not there. I figure, people are hard wired to fall in love, so with a little time, it's irresistable for all of us. That, plus getting a bounce house in the basement, a new train, and some chocolate now and then doesn't hurt the process.....