8 years old

Hard to believe, but Ethan turned 8 on Friday! That night he opened presents from family, and on Saturday he had his kid birthday, which included training from a Jedi Knight Trainer. For some reason, he didn't want the kids at school to sing happy birthday to him, and at his party he had other kids blow out his candles for him. Not sure what that was about, but he seemed to have a good time. Other things I don't understand about Ethan: his teacher allows birthday kids to have lunch with her and choose three friends to bring with them. He chose three kids he did not invite to his birthday party. I suspect, as I have before, that the ways of the 'popular' kids will forever be beyond my comprehension, as much as they were when I was growing up.

One iconic Ethan moment: the Jedi Knight Trainer had Ethan start off some 2-person balloon popping races. Ethan said, "Ready, set, pickles!", then, "Ready, set, John!" with perfect comedic timing.

I was very glad I survived the party. I had a horrible, horrible cold all last week. Luckily we had done all his present shopping the week before, because all I managed to do last week was spend time with grandpa and grandma who were visiting, wrap a few presents between naps, and do the minimum for work. During the party, I sat the whole time, and was extremely grateful we had an energetic person to entertain the kids.

All the family gestures last week meant a whole lot to Ethan. Grandma and grandpa visiting made him feel very special. Sister Jen and Tim driving all the way over just to drop off presents was so thoughtful. Aunt Jenny sending presents in the middle of dealing with their stuff meant a lot. And Ethan appreciated that Kate and Alec sent him presents too.

Out of the blue, on the way to school on Friday, Ethan said something about how his "real mom loved him". I asked him if what he meant by "real mom" was his birth mom, and I agreed that yes, she probably loved him. I added that he had lots of people love him, like us, and his siblings, and his grandparents. "You forgot more" he declared, "My aunt, my uncle, my cousin!". Yes, I agreed.

This is the first time his birth mom has come up recently. I had just been reading an adoption magazine the night before, and realizing we should probably talk a bit more about his origins, so I was almost relieved he brought it up. I asked him if he was thinking of her because he came out of her tummy 8 years ago in the hospital. He quickly asked, "How do you know I was born in a hospital?". I said we had a piece of paper saying he did. I told him, as I have before, that then he went to the Balalar. "That's a funny word, don't you think?" he asked. I said that it was our word for it -- that it was our word for orphanage, a place where kids go when their family can't take care of them. I asked him if anyone ever asked him about being adopted. He said 'no', but I suspect he wouldn't tell me if they did.

I then told Ethan that my grandfather, his great-grandfather lived in an orphanage for a while when he was a kid, and hated it so much that he would never eat macaroni and cheese again. Then I reminded Ethan that we don't have orphanages in America any more, that kids live with foster families. "Like Marina's family" he said, thinking of a family we know who foster kids. Yes, I agreed. Then he changed the topic --it was gone as quickly and abruptly as it had arrived.

I generally try to tell Ethan the truth, and feel it's important that he be able to trust us. Last night I decided to reveal to Ethan the real identity of Santa Clause. We were having a discussion about silly things people believe in, like crop circles, and I realized that I have always felt somewhat uncomfortable about the lies involved with Santa, even if it's for a good cause (clause?). Ethan took it very well, and had a real appreciation for the details, such as our taking bites from Santa's cookies. It felt important to me that we tell him the truth, rather than him hearing it from others (actually he has already heard it from other kids, as we pointed out to him, but he chose not to believe it). We also told him about the Easter bunny, but we didn't bring up the Tooth Fairy.